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  • Writer's pictureJesse Forrest

Inner Dialogue

I'm currently working on my 2nd ACX publication and my first memoir for an author in Washington State. It's ironic how it all worked out, actually - when I auditioned for the book, I had no idea where the author was from.

This book will check off a lot of firsts for me. My first memoir, first time with story related material, (most of the works I had done to this point were all educational and matter-of-factly) first time working for a real-life-publisher, and first time doing a full length novel. Needless to say, it's a big freakin deal and I was so excited to be chosen to work on this book.

It's been an absolute joy to work on. The author and I have a lot in common and one of the things I was incredibly grateful for was our homage to the same state. I had an advantage and knew how to pronounce prominent places in the book, like Puyallup. (Pew-AL-up) I did notice something else the more I progressed through the story, though.

The author had a very vocal inner dialogue - one that I had remembered having myself at one point but had done so much painful adulting that I had shut her up along the way somewhere. I'm not sure at what point it was in my life that I decided that my inner voice needed to be shushed but it was obvious now, working on this memoir, that it was something I needed to remedy.

I noticed her the other day while cleaning the bathroom - she was talking to me, giving me ideas, working out problems and providing much needed color commentary to a very boring and mundane task. The thing is, I had cleaned that bathroom hundreds, maybe thousands of times before and never noticed her. Was I so thirsty for adult interaction that I had started talking to myself? Was I about to have a mental breakdown? This was all new and alarming but I had to stop myself from spiraling down the rabbit hole of "there must be something wrong with me!" and remembered something so incredibly important.

When we are kids, we have a very loud inner dialogue. Do you remember yours? They were probably amazing and part of what made you amazing too. Your inner dialogue probably saved you from a few pickles and probably contributed to even more. They probably sang you to sleep and comforted you when you had a bad day. They probably cheered you on when you were on a roll or helped you out of a slump. Your inner dialogue may have sounded like your favorite grandparent or your mom or dad giving you the push you needed to move forward, or to remind you not to forget that all important ingredient when making your favorite meal. At some point, they become quieter, don't they? They are hushed to a faint whisper as we busy ourselves with spreadsheets and meetings and daily housework and raising kids and feeding the animals. Our inner dialog is no longer a source of comfort but it's turned into a nagging list, always a list of things you need to do or have forgotten to take care of.

My inner voice is hilarious. She is curious. She is insightful. She is kind. She is a total smart-ass. She never deserved to be silenced in the first place. After leaving my 9-5 to refocus my efforts into my voicework dream, I am also receiving some added benefits - a reintroduction to my inner voice. After all of this time, I am certain she has quite a bit to say.

There is something to be said here for quiet self-discovery but I'm sure we will get back to that at some point...

I will be finished with production on this memoir by the 14th of June and it should drop for your consumption by the end of the month (unless there are delays!) but I will keep you all posted!

In the mean time - listen to your inner voice and acknowledge your inner dialogue. You never know, it could lead to a promising career as an author!

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